Hello Cruel World,
Welcome to my delightfully fucked up head and the constant stream of word vomit that, unfortunately for all the prudes on the internet, pours out of my brain and into this blog!! Your experience here might be quite confusing and honestly, if you value your sanity, I would close your browser now and escape while you still can.
The only good I can offer you is the unsolicited chance to step into the life of a very strange, kinda retired hardcore-pornstar with mild autism and a sarcastic mouth to read all about the mistakes I continue to make in my hilarious shitshow of an existential crisis so you can sit safely behind your computer and not get any STDs!!
My anarchistic “fuck everything, quit your job and tell people what you really think” narrative should not be taken seriously, as it is totally unrealistic and only achievable for me because it’s not, I just think it is because I’ve done enough fun drugs to have zero grasp on reality!! Hear that sweet self-deprecation? It’s not insecurity, it’s just extreme sarcasm and no I won’t knock it off, so stop asking me to be nicer to myself because I won’t, and you’re gunna love me anyways. Also, I’m not proofreading anything so get fucked, grammar police. I do what I want.
I also offer:
A whole bunch of shit noboby asked for:
- my delusional perspective on life (that’s far too psychedelic not to be problematic)
- all kinds of advice I’m not qualified to give
- way too much information about all the details of my life nobody asked for
- porn stories and sex stories I shouldn’t be sharing publicly
Don’t yell at me
I promise you that nothing I ever write here on this blog will be grammatically correct – I am very aware and am doing it intentionally. I want my writing to feel more like you’re reading a real letter from an old friend vs. a well-written essay. So you can sleep easy knowing the grammar police have already arrested me for the crime and skip yelling about it in the comments, please lol.
If you’re still somehow reading this, first of all, I’m sorry. But we both know you could be reading a million other things on the internet, yet you find yourself unable to look away from watching this unfolding trainwreck because, let’s face it, at least you know it’s going to be interesting.